oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?!!

So, as of this morning, the moving truck is booked...  I pick it up at 9am on 11/18, a Friday.  The current plan is to hire some dudes to come load all my shiz onto it the afternoon of the 18th and then lock it up until Monday morning (the 21st).  I am heading to my Dad's house for an early Thanksgiving with the babies on the 19th, staying the night and heading back on the 20th.  I will then be driving my car up onto a tow dolly to be trailered behind the moving truck as I make my way back to Charlotte, Cornelius specifically.

I've been doing all this "wanting" to get back to Charlotte, however I don't know if I am ready this soon.  I think it has to do with the fact that I've been given a specific date, and now the plans are in the works.  It also has to do with the fact that I'm going to be living on my own with the babies!  AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  Me, alone with 2 infants....  AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  No, it's not that bad, and I'm going to rock the hell out of it, but it is plain damn scary.  SCARY!!
Yes, I do everything as it is now, while living with my parents...  but, there is always someone there for that moment that a baby pukes everywhere and you just need to walk directly into the shower.  Or, to catch baby #2 as they go in a completely opposite direction than baby #1.  I don't want to say that I've taken my parents for granted at this point, but I might have.  They are a nice soft place to land for C&C, and the babies LOVE them... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them!  And, yes I feed both of them at once, no problems, but it sure is nice to have someone else to feed a baby regularly.  Oh, and those days that mom does a sink of bottles for me, or folds a basket of laundry... 
I am definitely freaking out about how I am going to manage...  Not to mention, Emma now is my sole responsibility again too.  Dave takes her about about 75% of the time now... if not more.  I have done zero walking of her since I had them, and that is going to be a fun undertaking with 2 infants and walking a dog!  Here we come Red Flyer...(that's the red wagon, right?!)

Now, looking at this in a different manner...  It's me and them!  JUST ME AND THEM!!!  I can't wait to have my our own place - CANNOT WAIT!!  I have all these great ideas of how this is going to work out, and how cute our place is going to be!  I want people to come over and hang out and visit...  I want people to walk in and be blown away by how great it looks, all the while 2 infants live there!
I will be starting to cook at home, daily!  I'm going to have to add that into my blog, because it should be a good laugh for just about anyone that knows my addiction to eating out...  And, honestly it's not that much of an addiction as it is cheaper to eat out for 1 than cook at home.  However, living on my own, with 2 babies and no financial support from anywhere else will cause someone to become financially aware of every penny that is going out.  And, eating at home, and keeping them on a schedule is a BIG deal.  Not to mention, they're getting further and further away from formula being the main part of their diet, and eating more and more "people" food.  There's no telling what half of the places out there put in their foods, or spices they use...  I'm just going to be on the safe side and make it myself.  NO CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR MY 2!!
Needless to say, I'm also super excited about doing this in general.  Yes, this is a contradiction to my afore written paragraphs, but I am REALLY excited.  This is going to be really great me my twinkles and I....  It's going to be a super huge self confidence boost for me.  And, what happens if I fail miserably?!!  Well, that's not going to happen, so I don't have an answer, nor need one!  :)

I will keep you posted as I know I'm going to be losing my mind regulary over the next 30 days...  I can feel the tidal wave of emotion that will be waiting to gush out...  (I really hate the word "gush"!)

As of 11/21 though, I will officially be back in NC!  Happy Thanksgiving to me.

As my last post ended, and I kind of chuckled as I re-read it, I might make that a regular.  One love.  I'm out.  Word to your mother.  (I can be ghetto with the best of them!)

Jam Jar - Sweet Shiraz!

First of all, go check out Jam Jar - Sweet Shiraz, it's fantastic!!! So. Effing. Good.

Second, god love my parents who watched the babies for a couple of hours. I have needed a break lately, and finally got a small one. These days, a break's a break though. Was able to hightail it into town and catch up with my friend April who is just amazing. She's able to put a positive spin on just about any situation, and if she can't she'll pour you another glass of wine!! Love her.

Third, I have come to the conclusion that I have what is the greatest group of friends, ever. They are all incredibly smart, and by far much smarter than me. And, they are ALL hysterical. I mean, really funny. Catch your breath and turn away as not to pee on yourself funny. I came to this conclusion after getting a text, while having dinner with the afore mentioned April that was something to the effect of "My nipple wishes to FaceTime with someone. Please oblige him.". Come to find out, my friend Dave was trying everyone he knew with FaceTime to get to answer to be able to show off his chafed nipple from the half marathon he ran... Seriously, who does that?!! No one but my friends, and I'd have it no other way! The funny thing is, even in the different circles of friends that I have, they're all equally as funny! I sure have lucked out... Not sure how I've gathered those that surround me, but I am thankful everyday, for everyone of them... I sure hope you all know that!!

Last but not least, I read a quote the other day that has resinated in my head everyday since reading it. It said "someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else". I have found so much solice in this... And, good Lord do I hope it is true. I'm the mom of twins, and those 2 smiles rock my world, but at a much deeper level, I want to share ME with someone who wants ME for everything I am, twins and all! Funny friends and all. Entire bottle of wine drinking and all. Just all of me. And, will I find "him", yes. Yes, I will. One day. And, who's to say I haven't already and don't know it yet... Glasses up, here's to hoping and believing.

See what 3 hours out will do?!! Isn't it great?! Hope the weekend has treated you well. One love. I'm out. Word to you're mother.