She's a rambling man...

Leap Year, once every 4 years... Having twins, once in a lifetime! Seriously, if I have more babies (which I hope for) I might have to be guaranteed that there will only be one! Not to mention that plan includes a partner, which right now seems to be a fat chance in hell. So, maybe it will just be me and my 2! They are a lot of work, but fun work, exhausting work, loving work, NEVERENDING work. I wake up with a bang every morning and go to bed with the dishwasher running every night. There's a continuous mountain of laundry that has to be done, and the never ending living room of ToysRUs vomit, but they're so great. They make me smile. They make my heart happy. When Cole does Tarzan or crawls backwards on cue because he knows it makes me giggle, or when Callie blows kisses when I say "I love you" and dances with no instigation, simply because music is on, I swear I have to be the luckiest single mom ever! They are probably the coolest babies I've ever met. Okay, so tonight at dinner when Callie pitched a literal fit because I wouldn't let her actually hold the lemon that I was getting amusement from letting her suck on, not the coolest baby, but all in all, those times are so few and far between that I don't even give them merit. Or, well, when Cole decided that he was going to create a volcano of milk in the middle of Panera by squeezing the milk box, and proceeding to turn that into a firehose of milk when I tried to stop him - not the coolest baby ever, but again we're going with the fact that that was a learning lesson for me and won't happen again. I get a repetitive "I don't know how you do it", or "man, you have your hands full", or "god bless you, I'm glad it's you and not me", or "they're so well behaved, just wait until the Terrible Two's hit"... Are people always so negative? I'm guessing that yes we're going to have the 2's phase, but I'm sure sold on the fact that you are never given more than you can handle, and all those people just couldn't have done it, which is why they don't have twins - much less twins as a single parent. No, I'm not tooting any horn, believe me, I have my days, and I wouldn't throw anyone to the wolves that are twins as a single parent knowingly. It can be done, and done well (there's a toot), but it's a lot of time consuming work. Lack of payment work. Neverending work, but crazy awesome work! And, I officially have a baby in bed with me, who is snoring... Here's to lack of a good nights sleep, and praying the other stays put and sleeps through the night. On a side note, referencing my cynical comment above about whether or not I'll ever find a partner... I don't want to be a single mom. There, I said it. However, by no means does that mean I'm looking for a father for them. I'm just looking for someone who wants me. Just me. Me that is good enough for them that they are able to fall in love with my babies and love me even more for them. I'm learning the hard way that those who say one thing might not always mean it. I am learning that a little self worth goes a whole lot farther that you might think, and just because a you want something so bad to be right won't make it right. I'm just learning. Especially about myself these days, whether I like it or not... "sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them." - that's such a true quote, and an even harder truth to acknowledge and learn from. Saw something tonight that gave me a sense of what I need to be looking for... Be with a man... 1. Who promises to give you laugh lines when you're old., 2. Who tells you he's proud of you on a daily basis., 3. Who puts your happiness at the same level as his own., 4. Who uses positive superlatives when describing your relationship., and 5. Who uses "when" not "if" when talking about his future and how you fit in it. So much for absolute rambling this evening. Hope this finds you well and happy! March is going to be a wonderful month!! Looking forward to so many faces and great times! That's all. One love, I'm out... Word to your mother! (hahaha) E