Wednesday, March 5, 2014

How to make my heart melt...

As I've found my patience lacking lately since Dad died, I have to sit back and ask myself if I'm overreacting.  Or, if I'm reacting too soon to something that might go a different way than I'm preparing myself for.  Maybe I need Prozac.  Maybe I just need to take a deep breath.  Maybe I need both...  Well, in a slump of the evening on 3/4, Cole wouldn't stay in bed.  We negotiated.  We peed.  We rocked.  I threatened.  I yelled.  Then I simply left the room.  As I was leaving the room, he asked specifically for a kiss on the forehead.  I obliged.  Even when my patience is at it's breaking point, the request of a kiss can simply calm the tension in my neck.  I kissed his forehead, maybe 3 times, said "goodnight" and left.  After quickly folding a load of laundry, on my way downstairs to what would be a glass of red wine calling my name, I heard the subtle pop of the door opening.  I literally thought the vein was going to pop out of my neck.  I immediately took a deep breath, gritted my teeth and said "WHAT IS IT NOW?"... I will forever remember the moment...  Cole innocently said "I need another kiss on my forehead, it wiped off"...
In moments like that I am reminded why I wouldn't trade a day of gritted teeth, a day of disheveled hair from a sleepless night, a day of dirt and spills and stains and accidents, or any day for that matter.


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